Como na época que não sabia medir sozinha o espaço para passar da porta, hoje não sei medir o espaço do tempo que tenho. Que terei. E terei muito, eu sei. E assim como eu me machucava sozinha aos treze anos, esbarrando nas pernas da cama, perdendo as canelas, os ombros nas portas o rosto no armário, meu medo é esse. Me embolar nas minhas próprias pernas hoje, cair sem saber levantar, deixar o tempo passar desfilando na minha frente tudo que perdi. Ou deixo ele ir, eu o prendo na mente, calculando quantas horas exatamente terei para entreter o coração aos fins de semana ou quantos dias espero para as unhas crescerem outra vez. A ansiedade as cortou pelo pé.
Hi. Well, in a few hours you will be here, at the same country as me. This is bizarre... to think about how long I'd waited for this moment and today we are nothing but strangers. I don't understand still what happened, besides my assumptions and my friend's suggestions. Until today, I don't understand how mean you could have been. I spent two months thinking that maybe your words and your weird way to treat me could be just a bad time, because of everything else in your life. But... nope. It just doesn't fit. The first six months with the five others. So many kind words, love and adventure plans became this silence. I wonder sometimes if you have some idea of what you did. I think you do, maybe you like it. Maybe you haven't fallen in love yet, like, deeply, that's why everything seems so cool (to watch me). Anyways, sometimes I wonder what you feel about our past friendship, cause this is how everything started (maybe we shouldn't have taken it too f...
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